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THE
ROCK
(passive, tight,
pro)
By far the tightest player
at any table. The rock barely plays any hands.
He loves Aces and kings though. And when he gets them, he knows exactly how to play them. He is a good reader of the game who risks very few unexpected, big losses. He knows when his aces have been cracked.
THE MAD HATTER
(loose, casual, loudmouth,
aggressive)
This complete nut job is the biggest fish of all! Either he doesn’t have a clue how to play, or he just doesn’t care. And gladly informs everyone that he thinks “Poker is just like Scrabble”. He bets every hand and raises even more, while constantly asking questions like “I have a four card flush, is that any good? Oh.”
LOOSE GRINDER
(loose , smart)
The weekend regular who plays mainly for fun, hoping to edge out a little profit by the end of the night. He has picked up some skills during all his sessions, and can, on a lucky night, be a real force. Not to be underestimated, but never to be overestimated either.
THE PROFESSOR
(loose, aggressive,
pro)
The guy to avoid at all times. He understands the cards, he knows how to play them and does so mercilessly. He hasn’t read the books though. He wrote them. But he will lay them aside when necessary. Don’t try and bluff this guy. Don’t try to outplay him. Actually don’t play him at all. Become him.
CALLING ALL CARDS
(loose, passive)
Next stop Suckersville. Newcomers to the game of poker often find themselves
calling all cards, staying in pots as long as there is a chance,
however remote it may be, of winning it. They don’t care about their odds or their outs. If there’s a chance, well, then there’s a chance. “Might as well” and “I paid you this far so...” are typical calling station expressions.
THE STUDENT
(hibernator,
tight, smart)
This guy takes his poker dead seriously. He has, however, yet to build a stack big enough for the large games and most profitable tournaments. So he has to be careful not to bust. He
practices a lot and plays strictly by the book. He is still inexperienced, though, and due to his rather rigid game, he risks facing some very severe bad beats. Something that can send him into tilt fidgets.
THE PRETENDER
(chameleon. aggressive,
loudmouth)
This is the dodgy fellow that makes all the other players tilt. He pretends and plays like he is a mad hatter, but he’s got your game read like an open book with thirty feet letters in it. He lures people in with his seemingly idiotic raises and bluffs and just when people are about to stack the pot, the pretender reveals some absolute crap starting hand he knew would win all along. While HE then stacks the pot the other player has to settle for a good steam.
THE TEXAS TERROR
(loudmouth, loose, casual,
drunk?)
This guy will abuse his opponents, his cards, his seat and when that is not enough, the software, the poker room and the rest of the world, too. If he wins he will gloat a ton. If he loses he will either just shrug it off or kill you. Then he’ll buy in again for the maximum allowed limit. The Terror is often filthy rich and lets you know it.
MR. MYSTERY
(chameleon, professional,
hibernator)
The perfect covert strategy for players deemed to be underestimated. Happily plays along making stupid comments and sometimes intentionally making bad calls. All the while figuring the others out and making sure to win the really big pots – off course, without seeming to know it. Keeps a very low profile, in fear of the act being revealed. |
